Cheap Check
I have a dear old aunt. She experienced the Second World War and knows how to be frugal. It is second nature to her.
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At her latest birthday, she got a couple of boxes of chocolate. A week later I visited her. She had a bowl of hazelnuts sitting on the kitchen table. I thought nothing of it at the time.
During my visit, we had a piece of chocolate. My aunt took one bite of the chocolate and took out the hazelnut inside and placed it in the bowl. "I don't like hazelnuts, but it would be a waste just to throw them out"
Realizing what she had just said, I got sick to my stomach, mainly because I had eaten from the bowl.
I hope you aren't that frugal because if you are, you probably expect us to give you checks for free. I will be right back, I need to go chat with Big Louie. I'm back. Big Louie says it is okay for us to give you checks for free after all. All you have to do is email us your ship to information and we will gladly send you free checks. How do I get you the information I want on my checks, you ask? No need, we will just send you some old, used checks. A win-win situation for both of us. You get free checks and we get rid of old junk we have lying around.
On second thought, you might be a fraudster so we will send Big Louie over for a visit before we mail out the free checks. You may remember, Big Louie always carries his trusty "big" hammer in case he needs to get his point across. Maybe you would just prefer to get cheap checks instead. In that case, we have some of the best pricing on business checks and personal checks anywhere. I just ask that you allow me to make enough money to feed my family tonight. All we eat is plants, so we don't need to make much. Thank you!
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